Ok, I have a joke for you guys - 

Q:  How do you know when you've made your ladder too complicated?
A:  When you have to write a help file for it.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahah... ha... ha?

Anyhow, I know this thing is too complicated, but I'm a dork, so I really had no choice but to make it this way.  I personally find it excellent, a brilliant piece of work by a dedicated uniballer who really needs something else to do with his free time.  Now prepare yourselves for the amazing...  the stupendous... the utterly [insert adjective that means "good"]...

Uniball Ladder Help File!!!!

1. General Ladder Information
   1. Ranking
   2. Reporting Losses
   3. Rules  YOU MUST READ THIS SECTION.
   4. Required Matches?
   5. How to get banned
      
2. User Operations
   1. Creating a new user
   2. Logging in / Logging out
   3. Managing your profile
   4. Joining / Leaving a squad
   5. Looking up another user's profile
      
3. Squad Operations
   1. Creating a new squad
   2. Managing your squad
   3. Reporting losses
   4. Member Access Levels
   5. Looking up other squads' profiles
      

General Ladder Usage

1. Ranking

There are two different methods of ranking, and "official" one and an "accurate" one.  

• The "official" one works in the following manner.  All of the squads are assigned a rank, with 1 being the "best" rank, getting increasingly worse as the rank gets higher.  Ironically, 1 is generally referred to as the highest rank, but ranks that are actually, literally, mathematically higher are worse.  20 is worse than 5, for example.  
  
  Now, the ranks are changed when a match is reported.  If the winning squad is ranked higher (lower) than the losing squad, as is expected, no ranks are changed.  However, if the winner is ranked lower, the match is called an "upset" and some ranks will change.  Oh yes.  They will.  If the winner is four or more ranks below (above) the loser, the winner will move up half the distance between the loser and itself.  For example, if squad A, ranked 20, beats squad B, ranked 10, squad A will move to rank 15.  Squad B will be unaffected - so there is no punishment for a higher squad losing to a much lower squad.
  
  However, if the winning squad is within 3 ranks of the losing squad, the winning squad will take the place of the losing squad and the losing squad will be moved down one rank.  For instance, if Squad A, ranked 12, beats Squad B, ranked 10, Squad A will move to 10 and Squad B will move down to 11.
  
• The "accurate" method works on a point based system.  It is called "chess-style" because it is most commonly used for chess rankings, although in chess you start at 1600... but that's a different story altogether.  Anyhow, when a match is reported, the winner is awarded a certain number of points, which are added to its current score, and the loser has the same number of points taken away.  However, if a much higher squad plays a much lower squad, and wins, the number of points is fairly low, because that higher squad is expected to win anyway.  If the much lower squad wins, the number of points exchanged is huge, as this is considered a pretty big upset.  The actual formula for determining the number of points exchanged is $finalScore = intval (30.0 * (1.0 - 1.0 / (pow (10.0, -dr / 400.0) + 1.0))); where dr is the original winner score minus the original loser score.  finalScore is added to the winner's score and subtracted from the loser's.  
  
  This system is more accurate for a number of reasons.  First, it assigns more weight to major upsets, which means that super high ranking squads cannot just play the bottom of the ladder and hope to stay at the top for long.  It must play squads with closer scores if it wishes to improve its own score by any significant number.  Second of all, since a squad will eventually only get one point for each win, it will keep that squad in a range that is reachable by other, newer squads.
  
  The reason that this is not the "official" ranking system is that this is not a ladder system at all.  It is very accurate in terms of which squad has the best record, but it isn't a "ladder."  I like being able to beat someone and go over them.  And since I like it, it's official ;p

2.  Reporting Losses

Well, it's too bad you have to read this section, because it means you SUCK at uniball.  Click "Report Loss" on the squad op bar at the top of the window, select the squad you lost o-so-miserably to, and click "report."  Note that you do not have a choice about this - if you lose a match against someone you are honor-bound to report the loss as soon as possible. 

Also note that your squad leader has the power to take your reporting privileges away from you.  Technically speaking, you start without the privileges and the leader must grant them to you.  So if you get an access violation, that is probably why, and you should whine to your squad leader, not to me.  I don't want to hear it.

3. Rules

There are a couple (read: a buttload) of rules that must be followed by all members of the ladder in order to keep it friendly, competitive, and fair.
They follow.

1. Both squads in a match must agree that the match is a ladder match (how many more times do you want me to say match?  5?) before the game is played.  While it is not required, it is very helpful to put "LADDER" or something to that effect in the name of the game, as this is absolute proof that both squads knew.
2. Substitutes are allowed.  This means that if one team wishes to have one member leave and another member join in the middle of the game, it is allowed to do so.  When a substitute is requested, play should stop immediately.  Goals by balls that were shot before the request count, others do not.
     - If a substitute is requested while the requesting team has the ball, the possession of the ball should go to the team not requesting a substitute, at the ball's spawning location, without defenders immediately covering the player in possession of the ball.  A fair distance is approximately 5 ship lengths.  The non-requesting players that are not starting with possession of the ball may be covered closely, however.  The playing should not continue until both teams have agreed that the game is starting again, and a defender should not attempt to bump the ball away from the non-subbing team until the team has either made an attempt to pass the ball or to advance via juking, dodging, bounce-passing, or whatever.  Basically, play will start once the teams have agreed and the non-subbing team has made its first move.  
     - If a substitute is requested while the non-requesting team has the ball, the non-requesting team may choose to stay where it is, or to go to the ball spawning point.  Again, the defenders of the requesting team should not attempt to bump the ball away until the non-requesting team has made its first move, and may not crowd the non-requesting team until it has made its first move.  A fair distance is approximately 5 ship lengths.
   Substituting should not be used to gain advantage in a game.  It should only be used if one player is just having an off-day and wishes to stop playing, or cannot play any longer.  This means that a team cannot call for a substitute simply because the other team is about to score.
3. Leaving a ladder game should be avoided at all costs.  If a player suddenly quits the game, play should stop immediately.  A goal scored right after the player leaves will count if the ball was shot before the player left - otherwise, goals resulting from the player not realizing that someone has left should not count.
   When a player leaves a game, the team that he was on should get a reasonable amount of time to find a substitute, or wait for the player that left to reconnect.  A reasonable amount of time should be at least 5 minutes, which would allow a computer crashed time to restart and reconnect to the internet.  If the team that the player left is unable to replace that player, the opposite team has a choice of A) continuing the game later with the score carried over, or B) canceling the match altogether.  If they choose to continue the game later, the game must take place within a reasonable amount of time (a day or so) or the squad who's member left must report a loss.  A suggestion is to play the very next time each squad has enough members logged on to play.  Any alternative negotiations are also fine, but if the squads cannot agree on a solution then the decision goes to the team that did not lose any members.  The decision does not need to be made immediately, but should be made within a day or so.  Carried over games do not need to be played by the same players.
4. All ladder games must be played by members of the squads competing, and the different squads must be separated onto different teams within the game.  It is not required, but extremely helpful, for every member of the squad to have the squad tag on the username he or she is playing with.  The names of the players must be on the rosters of the squads on the ladder site.  If a player is not on the ladder roster, even if he has the squad tag on from BR Chat, the losing squad need not report.  Note that squad members may play under different names, but their "main" name must be on the squad roster.  While it isn't required to play under the "main" name, it is tremendously helpful to.
5. All ladder games must have at least one member on each squad that is allowed to report, and the losing squad must report the match immediately.  If this rule is not adhered to, the errant squad will be penalized as the attending ladder moderator sees fit.  Obviously, if the ladder is down the match needn't be reported immediately, but should be done as soon as possible.  It is suggested that both squads make sure the other has at least one reporter.
6. Ladder games may only be reported against the squad that a member is in.  Members that report for other squads will find themselves banned and their squads severely penalized.
7. Players may not be in more than one squad at one time.  When a smurf is caught, all squads that he is in will be penalized, and he will be banned from all ladder access.  This means that squad leaders are responsible for their members - smurfing will not be tolerated at any level.
8. Users of the ladder may not attempt to change information that they have not been given access to.  Any attempt to do so will result in the user being banned.  Note that this voids any permission the user may have had to report for his squad.
9. Ladders between squads must have even teams(2 v 2, 3 v 3, etc ).

4.  Required Matches?

In an effort to keep the ladder competitive, squads must play a certain number of games each week.  Squads in the top 10 must play at least 4 games every week, and at least two games to squads in lower positions.  All other squads are required to play at least 3 games every week to any squad of their choosing. This comes into effect in the first full week that a squad is on the ladder - updates are on Sundays, and squads that join on Friday need not play all of the required matches before Sunday - they can wait until the next week.

5.  How to get Banned.

• Attempt to change information you have not been given access to.
• Attempt to report a loss for a squad other than your own.
• Play under two different names for two different squads at the same time.  You can change your name without making a new account.
• Cuss me out.

User Operations

You may be asking yourself "why the HELL did he add user accounts?  All it does is add MORE stuff to remember, MORE steps to do EVERYTHING, and MORE CRAPPINESS.  He probably just did it to piss ME off.  Jeez - what an asshole!"

That's a question.  Not a very good one, but a question nonetheless, and I feel somewhat obligated to answer it, seeing as how I am writing the help file that is supposed excuse..  I mean explain my new system of managing the ladder.  SO HERE IT COMES.

In the old ladder system, each squad had a ladder password, and every member of the squad supposedly knew the password.  Then, when that squad lost a game (it must have sucked), one of the members would go to the page and "report" the loss by entering his squad name, his squad's password, and the squad that beat his squad's ass.  Then the ranks on would change accordingly.  This was all fine and dandy, but do you know what happened when a member was forcefully removed from a squad?  DO YOU?  Well I'll tell you.  That disgruntled ex-member would go to the page and report losses for his old squad left and right, willie-nillie, all over the place, from here to next Tuesday.

"Ok, so what the hell is your point?"  

The point is that in the new ladder, when you remove a member from your squad he is automatically revoked of reporting privileges for your squad.  The minute you kick him out, he is really _out._  No worries about security, or anything like that.

Which brings me to another reporting-related benefit of the user system.  With the old ladder, all someone had to do to fake losses against a squad was find out that squad's password.  With the new ladder, they have to trick the leader into inviting them into the squad AND into giving them permission to report, which is still possible, but the way I look at it, if the leader of the squad is _that_ dumb they probably deserve to lose a few ranks anyway.  Am I right?  Am I right?  Thank you.

"Bleh fine, but it's such a pain in the ass having to log in all the time."

You loser!  You only have to log in once.  The ladder uses cookies to keep you logged in at your computer unless you click "logout."  So don't click logout you lazy bum!  The cookies do expire after two days though, so check back once in a while to keep yourself logged in.

1.  Creating a New User

This is easy as pie.  Click the "new user" button, and fill out all the information.  Once you are done with that, click the "create user" button.  If there are any problems with your information, the ladder will tell you what they are and how to fix them.  The ladder will give you a user id number.  Squads will need this number to invite you.  You can write it down if you want, but all you really need to remember is your username and password, because the user id number is visible from your profile (click "View your profile").

2. Logging In / Logging out

This is fairly easy as well.  If you are not logged in, the ladder will send you straight to the log in screen.  Type in your user name and password, and click "login."  You can also log in by your user ID number, but make sure to select "log in by user ID" above the username box.  If you are logged on and wish to change accounts (but remember that smurfing is not allowed on the ladder...  grrrrrr...), or wish to protect your account from being used whilst thou art away from your computer, click "logout" on the user ops bar on the bottom of the ladder screen, and you will be logged out.  The ladder being as nifty as it is, it will then forward you directly to the login screen.

If you don't want to log in, use the username "anonymous" with a blank password and you will have restricted access to most public features on the ladder.

3.  Managing your profile

To view your profile, click "Edit your profile."  Your user information will pop up, and some items will pop up within text boxes that you can change.  To change information, just, uh, change it, and then hit "update."

4. Joining / Leaving a squad

Before you can join a squad, it must "request" you.  You generally have to be pretty good at uniball to get requested, but there are some crappy squads out there that will accept you anyway.  The squad leaders will need your user ID # to request you, so make sure that you give that to them when you ask them to request you.

After you get requests, the "squad requests" field in your user profile will go from "NONE, you SUCK" to a little drop down box with all the squads that have requested you.  Simply select the squad you wish to join, and hit "Join Squad" or "accept invitation" or whatever.  The button is right next to the drop down box, you should be able to find it.

When you have joined a squad, the "squad requests" field will change to a "squad" field, and it will say what squad you are in.  To leave that squad, click "Leave this squad, it really sucks and I can do better."  You go girl!  

You should know that joining or leaving a squad will clear _ALL_ of your requests.  This is to prevent whimsical frolicking through the different squads.  Show some dedication!  It will build your character.  You slack-jawed yokel (Hauptmann, on iParty). 

5.  Looking up another user's profile

This will make you a voyeur.  And that is disgusting.  I shouldn't even tell you how to do this.

Actually, I won't.  If you can't figure it out you should not be on the computer anyway.  That's an expensive piece of equipment!  Do your parent's know you're on it?

5.  Looking up another user's profile (take 2, I was pissed off 'cause my dog kept barking before)

Click "User Info" on the User Ops bar.  You should be presented with a drop down box of all the user names, in alphabetical order.  Select the one you want to view and click "look up."  $$

Squad Operations

This is where you can see the sheer genius of this system.  Right here =>      (>'-' )>     (>'-'<)    <( '-'<)    <( 'o' )>

Also, my wrist is starting to hurt, so I have the feeling this help file is about 4 "omg you SUCK you STUPID WRIST.  STOP WHINING AND JUST DO IT!!!"s from being over.  

1.  Creating a squad

Click "Add Squad."  Derrrrr...  Fill out the info, and follow the directions.  However, this will not add you directly to the ladder - you will be put on the waiting list, where you must wait like a dog thrown out of the house for defecating on the new baby's eye until a ladder moderator sees fit to add you to the competition.  You can expedite that process by having 3 members in your squad (NOT including the leader, so a total of 4 members for the arithmetically challenged of you) and a valid email address in your squad's profile.  Essentially, your squad will be fully functional except you won't be able to report losses or any of the stuff that is the whole point of the ladder.  In other words, YOU ARE NOTHING UNTIL WE SAY YOU ARE SOMETHING.

2.  Managing Your Squad

Click "Edit Your Squad" on the User Ops bar on the bottom of the window.  Your squad's profile will pop up (assuming you are in a squad) and everything you are allowed to see will show up.  Also, anything that you are allowed to change will pop up in a text box, in which you can change it.  Just hit update to save.

2.1  Requesting Members:  To get a user to join your squad, you must request them.  And to do this, you need their user id #.  You can find this number in the user profiles sections or just ask the person.  Just type their ID# into the spot that says "Enter ID# here" and hit "request."  If everything goes smoothly, the ladder will tell you that the request was successful - if it doesn't, the ladder will tell you why not.

2.2  Kicking Members:  If someone is really pissing you off, you can remove them from your squad.  Just click Kick_Asshole next to their name in the member sections of the profile.

3.  Reporting Losses

Well, it's too bad you have to read this section, because it means you SUCK at uniball.  Click "Report Loss" on the squad op bar at the top of the window, select the squad you lost o-so-miserably to, and click "report."  Note that you do not have a choice about this - if you lose a match against someone you are honor-bound to report the loss as soon as possible. 

Also note that your squad leader has the power to take your reporting privileges away from you.  Technically speaking, you start without the privileges and the leader must grant them to you.  So if you get an access violation, that is probably why, and you should whine to your squad leader, not to me.  I don't want to hear it.

4.  Member Access Levels

If you are a squad leader, you may change what privileges your members have.    Below is a table of the different key access levels.

To change a member's access level, go to the access level beside their name and change the number to whatever you deem appropriate.  These boxes do NOT show up for members with access levels less than 900, so don't worry about members changing their own levels.  Also, members cannot change their own levels to numbers _higher_ than what they already are, so if you give someone 900 access they may not change their level to 1000 and delete the squad.  The leader of the squad should be the only one with 1000 access.

This is a nice system, because you can let some people report without being able to change information, which was impossible on the old ladder.  It also makes you powerful, which is always fun.

5.  Looking up other squads' profiles

Click "squad info" on the squad op bar at the top of the screen.  Then choose the squad you want to look up information for, and click "look up."

Oh good lord my wrist hurts.